Building a Strong Marriage: Biblical Principles for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." — Genesis 2:24

Marriage is a beautiful, God-ordained covenant that reflects God’s love for His people. In Ephesians 5:25, Paul reminds us that marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. But while marriage is a divine gift, it can also be one of the most challenging aspects of our lives. As we navigate the ups and downs, the joys and struggles of marriage, it’s important to remember that a strong, healthy, and lasting relationship is built on the foundation of biblical principles.

In this message, we will explore key biblical principles that can help you build and maintain a strong marriage, rooted in love, respect, and faithfulness. No matter where you are in your marriage—whether you're newlyweds or have been married for decades—these timeless truths will guide you toward a marriage that reflects God’s heart and endures through every season.

1. Prioritize Your Relationship with God

The foundation of a strong marriage begins with each partner’s relationship with God. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 22:37-38, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.” When both husband and wife place God first in their lives, they are better equipped to love each other selflessly and sacrificially.

A strong marriage is not built on personal desires or the pursuit of happiness, but on a mutual commitment to seek God’s will and live according to His Word. When you prioritize God in your marriage, you will find that your relationship with each other is strengthened by His love, grace, and wisdom.

Make time to pray together, study the Bible together, and encourage each other in your faith journeys. A couple that seeks God together is a couple that will grow stronger together.

2. Embrace the Biblical Role of Husband and Wife

In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul outlines the biblical roles of husband and wife. He calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church—sacrificially, unconditionally, and with humility. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This kind of love is selfless and requires sacrifice. It is not about being served but about serving your spouse with a heart full of grace and honor.

Wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands, as the church submits to Christ. This submission is not about inequality or subjugation; rather, it is about honoring the leadership of the husband and supporting his role in the marriage. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). When both husband and wife embrace these roles with humility and love, they create an atmosphere of mutual respect and honor.

It is important to understand that these roles are not about dominance or superiority, but about reflecting the relationship between Christ and His Church. A healthy marriage is one where both partners are willing to love and respect each other according to God's design.

3. Communication is Key

One of the most vital components of any successful marriage is communication. Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Communication should be marked by kindness, understanding, and patience. It’s not about winning an argument but about building each other up in love.

In marriage, we must be willing to listen as much as we speak. James 1:19 encourages us, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Often, communication breakdowns occur because one or both partners feel unheard. Practice active listening and make sure your spouse feels valued and understood.

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but the way we handle conflict matters. We should seek to resolve issues in a way that brings healing and understanding, not division. Approach disagreements with humility, a desire for reconciliation, and a commitment to honoring God in the process.

4. Practice Forgiveness and Grace

No marriage is perfect. Every couple will face challenges, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. However, what separates healthy marriages from unhealthy ones is the ability to forgive and extend grace to one another. In Colossians 3:13, Paul writes, “Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Forgiveness is essential for healing and restoring relationships. Holding on to grudges or past hurts only breeds bitterness and division. We must be quick to forgive, just as Christ has forgiven us. And when we forgive, we also extend grace—recognizing that we are all imperfect and in need of God's mercy.

Forgiveness doesn't mean ignoring the hurt or pretending everything is fine; it means choosing to release the offense and allow God to heal the wound. As you practice forgiveness, you will experience greater peace and unity in your marriage.

5. Serve One Another

In a Christ-centered marriage, both partners are called to serve each other. Jesus modeled servant leadership during His time on earth, and He calls us to do the same in our marriages. “But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave” (Matthew 20:26-27).

Serving your spouse means looking for ways to meet their needs and support them in their growth. It means putting their desires and well-being before your own, just as Christ put our needs before His own. This kind of selflessness creates a deep bond between husband and wife and fosters a loving, caring environment.

When both spouses are committed to serving each other, the marriage becomes a partnership built on love, trust, and mutual respect. Serving one another also strengthens the marriage through shared efforts and a spirit of cooperation.

6. Cultivate Intimacy and Connection

Marriage is not just a legal contract; it’s a covenant relationship that requires ongoing emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The bond between husband and wife is meant to be deep and intimate in every way—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Emotional intimacy comes through spending quality time together, communicating openly, and supporting each other in the highs and lows of life. Physical intimacy should reflect the love and care you have for each other, and it should be a celebration of your unity as a couple. Spiritual intimacy is deepened when you pray together, share your spiritual journeys, and encourage each other in your walk with God.

As you invest in intimacy in all aspects of your relationship, you will experience a deeper connection that strengthens the foundation of your marriage.

7. Trust God for Strength and Guidance

Building a strong marriage is not something we can do on our own. We need God’s strength, wisdom, and guidance every day. In Proverbs 3:5-6, we are reminded, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Marriage can be challenging, and there will be times when you feel overwhelmed or unsure of what to do. But when you trust God with your marriage, He will guide you. Seek His wisdom in every decision, rely on His strength in times of weakness, and trust that He will help you navigate the challenges you face.

God is the ultimate builder of our marriages. When we submit ourselves to His will and allow Him to work in and through us, He will create a relationship that glorifies Him and stands the test of time.

Conclusion: Building a Lasting Marriage

A strong and lasting marriage is built on biblical principles—love, respect, forgiveness, service, communication, and trust in God. When we commit to these principles, we are building a marriage that reflects the love of Christ and endures through every season of life.

May your marriage be a testimony of God’s faithfulness and grace, a reflection of His sacrificial love, and a place where both partners grow closer to Him and to each other. As you build your relationship on the foundation of God's Word, you will experience the joy and strength that comes from a Christ-centered marriage.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Mark 10:9

In Christ’s love,
Apostle. Dr. Paul Igbinoghene